


Roleplaying

by lord_of_cats



Series: cat-lords pesterlog experiments [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: All The Ships, Humanstuck, Multi, all these ships are probably mentioned, at one point or another - Freeform, bc she's a massive sweetie, nepeta starts a roleplay memo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 09:13:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7568545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lord_of_cats/pseuds/lord_of_cats
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sick of all her furrends fighting, or purrhaps to relieve their stress, Nepeta sets up a huge roleplay memo.<br/>It doesn't end well</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roleplaying

**Author's Note:**

> Equius and Nepeta do no have the arrows in their names bc of coding issues

arsenicCatnip [AC] opened memo ‘fun roleplay purrty!’  
AC: :33 hello evfurryone! this is a memo I opened to relieve stress fur efurryone! A little bit of a fun roleplaying will make evfurryone happy in no time!  
centaursTesticle [CT] responded to memo  
CT: D-- Nepeta. I insist you cease this foolishness at once.  
AC: :33 *ac rolls her eyes and pounces on the great big musclebeast, leaning forward to whisper in its ear*  
AC: :33 shut the fuck up Equius  
CT: D-- are you…ordering me…to shut up?  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] responded to memo  
CG: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  
CG: I HAD THE SHITTEST DAY AT SCHOOL TODAY, AND CAME HOME TO THIS?  
turntechGodhead [TG] responded to memo  
TG: aw lighten up karkles  
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK  
AC: :33 Karkitty be nice!  
TG: yeah karkitty  
TG: and yeah im hella stoked for this fun roleplay party yo  
TG: im akwete purrmusk, furry champion of the night  
AC: :33 nice to meet you akwete! *ac purrs a greeting and rubs against akwete purrmusk, acquainting herself with her new furriend*  
TG: *akwete smells ac, relishing in the scent of cat stink*  
ectoBiologist [EB] responded to memo  
EB: am i…interrupting something?  
TG: oh hell no john, join in  
EB: i…um  
EB: what exactly is going on here?  
tentacleTherapist [TT] to memo  
TT: A large group roleplay in which we can all partake, meant to relieve the stress of our final examinations. It appears that Dave and Nepeta are the only ones getting into it however.  
EB: oh  
EB: well how do i join?  
AC: :33 make a purrsona!  
EB: pardon?  
TG: she means persona  
EB: um, ok then. my names jeff zanders and i hunt ghosts!  
AC: :33 *sniffs jeff in greeting*  
TG: *also sniffs jeff in greeting*  
gallowsCalibrator [GC] responded to memo  
GC: *4 M4GN1F1C3NT DR4GON SWOOPS DOWN, KNOCK1NG DOWN TR33S W1TH ON3 B34T OF H3R G1NORMOUS W1NGS*  
CG: I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS  
GC: *TH3 DR4GON P1CKS UP TH3 4NGRY L1TTL3 SPO1LSPORT W1TH H3R 3L3G4NT SNOUT 4ND TOSS3S H1M 1NTO TH3 V4ST FOR3ST SURROUND1NG H3R FR13NDS*  
CT: D-- *sweats nervously*  
gutsyGumshoe [GG] responded to memo  
GG: John, shouldn’t you be doing your homework?  
TG: haha oh shit john, youre in trouble  
EB: shouldn’t you be doing your homework as well jane?  
TG: oh shit, now the tables have turned  
GG: Strider, I know for a fact that you should be doing homework instead of roleplaying as a furry. Your brother has told me as such.  
EB: haha, now you got owned  
apocalypseArisen [AA] responded to memo  
AA: oh, a roleplay party, how fun!  
AA: *the brazen, whip-wielding adventurer walks up to her friends, smiling happily* hello everyone!  
GC: 4R4D14.  
AA: oh! is jane not feeling the roleplay party spirit?  
GG: I have homework, and so do all of you.  
gardenGnostic [GG] responded to memo  
GG: jake and i live in the middle of the ocean!!! i dont think we have homework :/  
golgothasTerror [GT] responded to memo  
GT: We don’t even go to school Jane!  
GG: *sighs* That’s not what I meant.  
adiosToreador [AT] responded to memo  
AT: *,,,tHE MASTER TRAINER FLIES ABOVE THE SCENE,,,,a TRAIL OF SPRAKLES IN HIS WAKE*  
AA: *the adventurer waves up at her friend, beaming as a rain of sparkles falls down on her*  
arachnidsGrip [AG] responded to memo  
AG: reeeeeeeeally tavros? a fairy that’s also a pokemon trainer? Show some originality please.  
apocalypseArisen [AA] banned arachnidsGrip [AG] from responding to memo  
AA: not today  
AT: ,,,uHHH THANKS FOR THAT  
AA: it is fine  
AA: she is not worth your time  
AC: :33 *ac purrs and calls out fur her friend to come down*  
AT: *,,,tHE MASTER TRAINER LANDS,,,,rELISHING IN THE FEELING OF SOFT GRASS BENEATH HIS BARE FEET*  
TG: *akwete walks over to the master trainer, one mission in mind* be prepared for the sickest rap battle in the history of ever  
AT: ,,,,oH HELL YEAH  
EB: no. no rapping allowed  
TG: but john  
EB: no  
TG: but john  
EB: start an ‘epic rap battle’ on another chat, but not here.  
GG: *jade runs through the forest, soft paws thumping against the earth floor and churning up dirt. she howls as she runs, causing birds to fly up and squawk away from her running figure. someone is chasing her. soon, she comes across a clearing, filled with an assortment of strange beings.* run!!! hes coming!!! :(  
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU GUYS  
TG: *fearful screaming*  
TT: *drops knitting in shock*  
EB: *starts crying*  
twinArmageddons [TA] responded to memo  
TA: *throw2 rom-com2 iin attempt to get iit away*  
twinArmageddons [TA] ceased responding to memo  
CG: YEAH YEAH, FUCK YOU TOO BUDDY  
CG: I HATE YOU ALL  
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] responded to memo  
TG: *the sexy cat girl stalks into the scene, holding an elegant-looking margarita*  
GG: *the hardened detective walks up to the sexy cat girl, taking the margarita from her hands* Ma’am, I’m working a case, and I have reason to believe that this margarita is the murderer of one mr frigglish the cat.  
TG: *le gasp* oh noes!  
GG: We need to lead an interrogation.  
TG: we have to! for frigglish!  
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] responded to memo  
GA: Can You Please Keep It Down I Am Trying To Work On A Dress.  
TG: yeah guys so am i please keep it down  
GA: I Had No Idea You Were Into Fashion! Mostly Because Of Your Dress Sense, But Also Because Of Your Negative Attitude To Fashion.  
GA: …You Were Being Sarcastic, Weren’t You?  
TG: yes  
AC: :33 *ac tries to direct her furriends towards the roleplay at hand*  
GT: *the famous explorer leaps from the ruined tower, followed by a hoard of goblins, ghouls and monsters*  
EB: *jeff the ghost hunter grins and starts to hack ghouls left and right*  
AC: :33 *ac grins and rips a goblin from mid-air, blood spurting out everywhere*  
CT: D-- Nepeta, that is quite distasteful.  
AC: :33 so are your musclebeast purrtraits, but we don’t talk about those, do we?  
CG: FUCK YOU ALL *KARKAT SCREECHES AS HE IMPLODES INTO A BIG BALL OF HATRED READY TO SWALLOW THE ENTIRE GROUT CHAT*  
GA: Karkat You Get Down From There  
CG: FUCK YOU MUM  
TT: *picks up knitting only to drop it again*  
EB: *gasps in amazement*  
TG: *wipes a tear from eye*  
GG: *cries in awe*  
GA: Did You Just…  
CG: OH NO  
GA: Call Me…  
CG: FUCK FUCK FUCK  
GA: Mum?  
TG: karkles has mummy issues pass it on  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] banned himself from responding to memo  
GA: I Must Inquire Further  
grimAuxiliatrix [GA] banned herself from responding to memo  
TT: So must I  
tentacleTherapist [TT] banned herself from responding to memo  
EB: well that just happened  
GG: It did, and so will your homework. It will be done.  
EB: but jaaane  
GG: No buts.   
GG: And you too Roxy.  
TG: aww but janeeeey  
gutsyGumshoe [GG] banned tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ectoBiologist [EB] and herself from answering memo  
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] unbanned herself from answering memo  
TG: im back lols  
gutsyGumshoe [GG] unbanned herself from answering memo  
GG: Roxy. No hacking yourself back in  
TG: awwwww  
tipsyGnostalgic [TG] banned herself from answering memo  
gutsyGumshoe [GG] banned herself from answering memo  
TG: in case anyone wants to know, i can hear loud moaning and a mlp episode coming from dirks room  
GT: Oh my.  
timaeusTestified [TT] responded to memo  
TT: I also hear the moaning of ‘John’ every night coming from your room every night, so let’s talk about that shall we?  
ectoBiologist [EB] unbanned himself from answering memo  
EB: what? is this true?  
TT: Yep. Striders honour.  
TG: yeah well how about all the mutterings of ‘jake’ i can hear every night alongside beeping and whirring  
GT: What?  
TG: yeah im pretty sure he built a sex robot of you dude  
TT: No I didn’t.  
EB: can we talk about daves masturbation habits about me!  
TG: no we should really talk about dirks sex robots  
AC: : 33 AAAARGH  
arsenicCatnip [AC] banned ectoBiologist [EB] timaeusTestified [TT] golgothasTerror [GT] and turntechGodhead [TG] from responding to memo  
AC: :33 back to business  
AC: :33 where were we?  
GG: jake released a hoard of monsters into our little group : ( : (  
AC: :33 ahh yes, brutal murder time :33  



End file.
